Yellow, as in Corn

It's a well-known fact that corn is yellow. It is a little known fact that my best friend's mom's college friend's favorite color is yellow. In fact, these facts have nothing to do with each other other than the fact that I met this woman (Let's call her Ginny) on the same day I went in a corn maze.
Now, Ginny wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.
In fact, she was closer to the other end of the spectrum.
As I joined my friend's family in their car to journey to Lewin Farms, Mrs. D told me that she'd already received four calls from Ginny asking about directions.
"It's easy enough," Mrs. D stressed. "Just go straight, turn right, fork left, bear right, and it's there! I just told you them once, now, and I bet you could direct me there."
My friend and I looked at each other and then just chose to smile and nod. I can't direct you to Lewin Farms.
But it was comical, the way Ginny called two more times before we even got there, once to ask if she should use her GPS and another to proclaim she was supposed to be there forty minutes ago and she was exhausted.
"Where are you?" Mrs. D asked her in a voice one might use to calm down an angry toddler.
"By the Tanger Outlets," a tinny voice replied.
The Tanger Outlets are, indeed, forty minutes past where Ginny was supposed to turn left. Or fork left, who knows.
We arrived at Lewin Farms at about the time Ginny turned around and began the long drive back. Unfortunately, we were a little lost ourselves. We had gotten to Lewin Farms alright-but there seemed to be a great lack of orchard and an abundance of corn.
A staff person directed us farther down the road, "Go to the intersection and turn," she said. Which way was unclear.
Left seemed good, but all we found was a peach farm. Peaches are not exactly in harvesting mode during the autumn months.
But we did find a friendly guy who told us that Lewin Farms has an orchard back where we should have turned right at the intersection. We piled in the car and received (Surprise, surprise) another call from Ginny.
She was at the first farm, the corn one, and we drove back to fetch her, and take on her and her daughter in our car. This seemed like the safest way to get everyone to the orchard.
It was a relief when we all ventured out into the orchard as a group, the ditsy Ginny trailing a little behind, munching on pretzels shaped like bats and pumpkins. There was only one thing missing. The apples.
It was back into the car and to the first farm for this very disorganized clan.
"Corn Maze should take about twenty minutes," the woman running the ticket stand said.
My friend and I ran off in the other direction, finding a dead end but not caring, just wanting to get away from Ginny and the others.
About half an hour later they emerged. My friend and I had gone out the way we came in, having given up after reaching the edge of the corn field.
"Wow! You girls must be really good at directions!" Ginny commented.
"We just have an innate sense of judgement," I shrugged. That sense of judgement told us we'd never reach checkpoint five, and so we had high tailed it out of there.
Next on our Fall Day of Fun checklist was roasted corn, which I politely declined. We ventured into a farmer's market, where we bought apples-and lost Ginny and her daughter.
"Go back inside and find Ginny," Mrs. D told us.
"How many times," my friend asked, "can one woman get lost?"
After locating Ginny, we told her we would wait for her just outside the market. About ten minutes later she emerged. I smiled at her, thinking she'd seen me, but she continued to walk right past us-I could have reached out and touched her-with a dazed look of bewilderment on her face.
"Ginny! Over here!"
"Oh!" She laughed. "I see you now!"
It was at that point, nearly five hours after I first joined them, that we all decided it was time to go home.
We lingered in the parking lot, waiting for Ginny to follow us in her car.
"Oh, you don't have to wait for me, I can find my way!" Ginny called out as she got into her small car.
Parting words aren't usually ironic, but I'm pleased to say that these were.
We got a call from Ginny twenty minutes later.

Nah. But it'd be funnier if we did.;)


~Katelyn